On Marriage

“It is no wonder if so many years, so many endearments, so many obligations have produced such an uncommon effect, that by long habit, it is almost impossible for me to draw a breath, in which you are not involved.”

Over the years I have attended to a lot of weddings, but one of my favorites was without a doubt my best friend Gabe and his (now) wife’s wedding, it took place in a beautiful garden of the local Church with the sunset as a background image, an outstanding band, delicious food and the best part of it, we all knew that those two persons getting married were made for each other.

But, why was it beautiful?

On one level, it was an experience that seemed to just fit for this young couple. I found myself watching in awe at the ‘rightness’ as they moved through the ceremony, and, on that level, can only compare it to this:

On a deeper level, without special adornment of the Church with flowers, or the band, the focus became the Bride and the Bridegroom, celebrating their union within the eternal beauty of the Mass. What I experienced in watching this couple who are obviously in love is best described in the words of Tertullian:

“How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church …? How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service, … undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.” 

But, could that happiness be forever?

Because, the problems will come, that’s a fact: Money Matters; Pride; Disrespectful judgments; Explosive; angry outbursts or rages over (most of the times) nonsense; Lack of emotional intimacy; Lack of affection and sexual fulfillment; Unresolved baggage youth; Unfulfilled expectations; Resentments which are a slow poison, undermining the love, trust and mutual respect you may have once had with each other; Infidelity, Addictions; Bad habits; Dishonesty; laziness and the mother of all problems of marriage: LACK OF COMUNICATION.

Suddenly the love will fade, they will get tired, the routine will slowly kill their marriage, and there will be nothing to do against that, because after all, statistics says that 50% of married couples will end up getting divorce, and in the modern days it’s normal for people to get married over and over again…Right?

So, think about that for a second, is that normal? Or are the married couples giving up on love way too fast and easy?

What if the couples look to the beauty of marriage instead of the problems?

How about if they appreciate waking up and having someone call them beautiful.

Or have a partner that they can lean on when they are hurt or scared, someone to tell their most intimate secrets to without judgment, having someone to share the challenges life can bring raising children, having someone still by their side loving them even though they tried to destroy that love because they thought they were not worthy, having someone to share the rest of their existence with.

Marriage is not a piece of paper, that’s just the legal aspect of it, marriage is something that goes beyond a piece of paper, or a ceremony.

–          Marriage is being able to share yourself in the good and the bad with someone, being able to hold each other up during the difficult times.

–          Marriage is knowing that someone’s always by your side.

–          Marriage is having someone to Come Home to Every Night.

–          Marriage is someone to build a Life With.

–          Marriage is having someone to Tell You the Truth, even if it hurts you.

–          Marriage is having someone who knows everything about You.

–          Marriage is having someone that doesn’t want to change you but accept you for who you are.

–          Marriage is about Communication.

–          Marriage is about ignoring the little things that can provoke a fight.

–          Marriage is about romanticism.

–          Marriage is about letting God into the relationship.

–          Marriage is about Respect.

–          Marriage is about enjoying the journey with your best friend and lover.

But most of all Marriage is about LOVE and without it, nothing will ever work.

But one might say, Why do I need to get married?, I can live with my partner and be happy with him (her), and have babies together and live according everything mention above WITHOUT getting married.

Well yeah, but you can also live with your partner and be happy with him (her), and have babies together and live according everything mention above without kissing each other or holding hands.

You don’t get married because it’s a social obligation; you get married because it’s the epitome of Love, because it’s the way you show the world that you are in the most noble of all feelings.

You get married because you and your partner are celebrating love. That love that lasts forever and does not have any barriers or obstacles nor does it know about quitting.

May you learn to appreciate marriage and everything it involves.

 love wed

“I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery.” -GEORGE WASHINGTON

“No, there are three people in a marriage, there’s the woman, there’s the man, and there’s what I call the third person, the most important, the person who is composed of the man and woman together.”

JOSÉ SARAMAGO, All the Names

“Marriage is a fight to the death, before which the wedded couple ask a blessing from heaven, because it is the rashest of all undertakings to swear eternal love; the fight at once commences and victory, that is to say liberty, remains in the hands of the cleverer of the two.”

HONORE DE BALZAC, Physiology of Marriage

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